Friday, January 11, 2008

Seven Things You May Not Want To Know About Me

My friend BD over at The Busy Dad Blog tagged me to write Seven Fun Facts about myself. I’ve been wrestling with this one because I keep confusing fun facts with true confessions. I’ve decided to stop over-thinking this and am just going to pull the trigger on what I’ve got. I’ll leave it up to you to interpret which are Fun Facts and which ones should be True Confessions.

#1 - Thursdays Are Maid For Fibbing

I never understood why my mother always wanted me to clean up before the housekeeper arrived. This made zero sense to me. Well, now that I’m a mom, I totally get it. They can’t really vacuum the floor if it is covered with Polly Pockets, DVD cases, dog toys, dirty clothes, yet-to-be-unpacked-suitcases and the latest art project. But Thursday (Maid Day) comes around so quickly and sometimes I’m too stressed to clean up for their arrival. Lord knows I would die if they – or anyone – could see how messy my house can get. So I just call on Thursday mornings and tell them my daughter is very sick and home from school and we simply have to skip service this week.

Let’s just say they probably think my daughter has a chronic illness.

#2 –It’s Not ‘Just Like Riding A Bike’ For Me

I can’t ride a bicycle.

I did learn how to ride a bike when I was six-ish, I just didn’t like it all that much. I preferred the low-density, earthy power of The Big Wheel. And I don’t really remember riding bikes with friends in elementary and middle school. So I had no idea that I had actually unlearned how to ride a bike until I was at the beach in high school and we all rented bikes. I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn, couldn’t stop. I was so frustrated I ditched it in some bushes and hitched a ride with my friend’s dad who was passing by in the family station wagon.

#3 – Delta Delta Delta…Can I Help Ya, Help Ya, Help Ya?

It was so long ago that it seems like a dream from a far-off mystical place….but yes, I was in a college sorority and it was a blast. I loved the parties. And the friends. And the songs. I loved playing Elvis in our skit and I was even Rush Chair our senior year.

I’m still best friends with these delta girls. In fact one of them is celebrating a birthday...Happy Birthday Darlin! But her 37th birthday means it is the 16th Anniversary of Whiplashgate.

Whiplashgate. Yikes. Let’s just say I was a bit overserved the night before my friend’s 21st birthday. Beer…boy…hickey. I wore a neckbrace to my friend's formal birthday dinner the next night. Her whole family was there and I had everyone convinced I was in a carwreck and had suffered whiplash. Yeah, I had everyone convinced…for a little while.

#4 – I Love To Decorate Cakes and Cupcakes

I am not a pastry chef. My delectable designs are not very sophisticated. But I love doing it. No one believes I actually decorated the football cake for the Sugar Bowl but I really did, I swear! I also got bored last summer and started doing rainbow trout and other flyfishing themed cupcakes.

#5 – A Regular Annie Oakley

I used to go hunting with my dad, mostly for deer and antelope. And I was actually a pretty good shot with a rifle. I’ve also been bird hunting half a dozen times or so, and while I’m not that skilled with a shotgun, I really enjoy it.

I went to an all-girls high school, and junior year my friends and I decided to join The Riflery Team. I have no idea why we decided to do this. I suppose we were bored with modern dance and cheerleading and basketball. Our initial goal was to beat our brother school, which we did handily if memory serves. But we quickly outgrew worrying about high school boys when we learned we would get to practice on a college campus, ooh la la. Granted it was a dark underground bunker where the Vanderbilt ROTC practiced target shooting, but we thought we were hot stuff prancing across The Vanderbilt campus in our plaid kilt uniforms and saddle oxfords…carrying a rifle case.

After practice we’d go to this dive bar that seemed more than eager to serve underage girls without fake IDs. We would actually go in there in our high school uniforms to drink beer and commandeer the jukebox.

Needless to say that place is no longer in business.

#6 –Like Zoolander, I Can’t Go Left

I don’t like to take an unprotected left in traffic. It makes me feel completely panicked. I will go around the block and out of my way to enjoy the calm, predictable experience of a Left Turn Arrow or a 4-way stop. Life is just too stressful as it is. Seems like a simple way to eliminate a touch of anxiety.

#7 – I’m a Fairly Decent Public Speaker

A few years ago a former colleague of mine enlisted Gov Ann Richards and me to do a presentation to her division/team on public speaking. She wanted us to help them with their presentation skills as well as improve their client pitches in smaller settings. Ann decided we should kick things off with a skit, showing the team all the things NOT to do in a client pitch. Ann felt women in our firm dressed inappropriately in client meetings so to prove a point she convinced me to dress up in super slutty clothes and pretend to do this fake client pitch in a black leather miniskirt and giant gold hoop earrings. Ann shot one-liners at our fake client, interrupting him, talking over him, confusing every detail of his pretend business. She was a natural comedienne and literally had the room doubled over with laughter. Meanwhile I just looked like a tacky streetwalker and didn’t get a single laugh. But hey, not many people can say a former governor of Texas dressed them up in fishnet tights and videotaped it.

Well, okay, maybe some other people can say that, but I did it legally and it was all on the up and up.

So that’s it. Seven oddball facts about me. Surprised?

Let’s here from someone else in the class…

Mimzie's Musings
Jogging In Circles
Daily Blessings

Here’s the assignment:
-- Share 7 facts about yourself
-- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs (I know, I petered out at 3. but they are 3 good ones!)
-- Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog


MelissaQ said...

You go Annie Oakly! Love the post it was so funny. Again, GREAT JOB. Have a great weekend. Texas LOVE

BusyDad said...

Combine leather skirt and fishnets with the rifle and I'll start your fanclub! No, wait. Throw in a few rainbow trout cupcakes too. Awesome confessions/facts!

josey said...

very revealing! hehehe! i'm not too surprised, except for the bicycle thing. but then again, i knew a few girls i grew up with who couldnt ride one, either. their parents were paranoid because they lived on a busy highway so they wouldnt let them learn! crazy. your excuse is much bettah ;)

i loved #3. LOLOL!! neck brace!! HAHAHAH!!! and i stinkin cant get the ole SNL skit with the tri-delta girls outta my head...remember rosanne barr?? letting stinkbombs? ROTFL!

i had forgotten to compliment you on the football cake in your last post. too freakin awesome! what a neato skill to have taught yourself.

man, i want some cake now! =(

wornoutwoman said...

Love reading about you. Thanks for the tag. I've done this one but it's been a while. Hmmm, I'll have to think of 7 things I haven't already listed. Thanks for the tag at my Daily Blessings site...I'll get to this next week! I'm so glad I found your page....LOVE IT!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Busy dad....:):)..although having been divorced twice I'm not sure about women with rifles....:):)

Don Mills Diva said...

Great post! I'm a bit of an Annie Oakley myself.

piper of love said...

I'm with you on the Maid Day. It's a nightmare preparing to have someone come clean your house. Such anxiety. My last girl was new, and as I was explaining things to her, I realized that I was apologizing over and over... eventually she was like, 'this is my job.'

I'm horrible at letting (hiring) people help me with anything, I always feel like I am imposing on them... good ole southern girls can't put anyone out ;)

Great meme! oops, facts. ~lol

Rachel said...

That was hysterical! I love it.
My mom always made us clean up before the house cleaner go there too, drove me nuts! :-) LOL.
*sigh* I was in a sorority, too. Isn't being a Texas girl a hoot! LOL.
Great post. Sooo glad to have you back!

Tot's Mom said...

Hey, I can't ride a bike too! Guess we have something in common then. I just never got to learn riding one because we lived along a very busy road and my dad just didn't want to get us a bike when we were young.

secret agent mama said...

I'd join the fanclub BD is speaking of. :D

Getty72 said...

My goodness, we have so much in! My house frequently gets in a mess (although I have o children to, and haven't got around to hiring a housekeeper yet either. That's on my list for this year!

I love hunting too (although I haven't been for a while now) - I used to own a winchester 42 410 gauge. A friend of mine was a gamekeeper at a local manor and I used to join him each saturday and sunday morning - ahhh, those were the days!!!!

I love to eat - and they taste even yummier if they are decorated :)

I ALWAYS get confused about the rules of driving when in America. It is so much easier here in the UK!

I daily have to give presentations at work, usually to no more than 30 people, but occasionally to several hundred (I must admit it is worse if I know the people - It is so much easier presenting to strangers)

Your list of 7 were perfect. they simply support the fact that you are such an interesting lady!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend,

Graham L)

wornoutwoman said...

K, I finally did mine. It took me a few days...but it's up!