Dawn of a New Whey

By Chick~ Put this on the list of things I never thought I would hear myself say: "I started my day with a hearty helping of Goat Kefir."

That's right. Today is Day #1 of my Cleanse. Not some wacky pepper cleanse, but a super healthy program custom-designed by an actual nutritionist. A woman who has introduced me to the likes of goat kefir, flax seed crackers,chicken apple sausage and other organic delicacies. For the next few weeks I will eliminate packaged and processed food, sugar, sodas, wheat/gluten, and about a million other things I like to call my best friends.

But before we delve into the cleanse, I'm sure you are wondering how I spent my final hours of food freedom. Trust me. It was a thing of beauty.

We started with a late brunch at the ever decadent Fonda San Miguel where we enjoyed tamales and ceviche and some chicken, beef, pork and lamb over rice. My favorite was the sweet Mexican corn pudding with sauteed peppers and sour cream.

From there we hooked around the corner to Ginny's Little Longhorn where Dale Watson plays every Sunday during Chicken Shit Bingo.

It's an Austin classic.





You buy a ticket with a handwritten number on it. They put a chicken in a cage that has bingo numbers all over the bottom. If the chicken poops on your number, you win the pot of cash.



Now there was some tragedy this week at Ginny's because their chicken was killed by a raccoon. So they bought a new chicken. Lo & behold, that chicken was found dead in the morning. They didn't have time to buy another on a Sunday so this chicken was a loaner named Tofu.

You know it's a sign that change is imminent when the chicken at Chicken Shit Bingo, who is performing a matter of inches from the crockpot chili hotdog buffet, is named Tofu.



Despite being a novice, Tofu worked fast, eliminating on #33.



Drat! I had #32.



Speaking of elimination and lean meat-like substances....back to the cleanse.

Well, no...actually I don't have the time or energy to type much more as I am feeling light-headed and about to start eating the paper right out of my inkjet printer. So for now you can enjoy this montage tribute to a by-gone era....

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

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New Evidence Supports Theory I Am In Fact Royalty

By Chick~
I probably shouldn’t even be sharing this with the world. I mean heaven forbid the Queen of England should mysteriously meet her demise, I could actually be on the short list of suspects with motive. No one believes me (or takes the time to feign interest) but I am actually a member of the royal family. You see many years ago my grandmother did some genealogy work and discovered that we are distant descendents of King Edward III. Or maybe it was Richard III, I can’t remember. Either way should Queenie move out of the way (and a few other people turn down the job) I could basically take over the throne of England.

Despite my best efforts to live a super normal life among everyday people, my royal blood rises to the surface every so often. I guess it’s a nature-nurture thing among us royals. Recently I had a lightbulb moment where my nobility merged with practicality and parenting genius ensued. Let me explain…

As luck would have it, Little Chick is a very particular eater. Instead of Princess and the Pea, we are more like Princess and the Peanut Butter. She despises vegetables. Loves burgers and pizza. It’s like she’s always in training for a marathon, carbo-loading 24/7.

On top of that, she shuttles between my house and her dad’s house in a somewhat creative, but efficient-for-us schedule. I barely know what I’m serving for dinner much less what what he’s feeding her. Toward the end of the last school year she finally threw in the gauntlet and begged for anything but pizza. Apparently she’d had it four nights in a row.

Sheesh.

So I carved out some time to focus on continuing education and self-improvemnt aimed at making me a better single mom. And by that I mean I found time to watch some re-runs on BRAVO of The Real Housewives of New York City.

Have you seen any of the Real Housewives shows? These women will instantly make you feel like a better person. Definitely a better mother.

At any rate, this episode featured the Countess Luann de Lesseps. Luann is a former model who married a Swiss count, had his children, and now is on this ridiculous reality show where she spends her time pointing out to people how they can be as classy as she is.

So…….anyway. In this particular episode she was hitting the town on a Wednesday night for a red carpet event despite the fact her son was feeling very needy and begged her to stay home. To which the Countess replied, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. It’s taco night!”

Taco night? The Countess has taco night?

And then it hit me. If taco night and scheduled meals works for the Countess and her kids, certainly they can work for us.

Royal minds do think alike after all.

So inspired by the Countless, I have instituted a weekly meal plan for Little Chick and printed it up at both of her houses, mom’s and dad’s. That way, no matter which parent has her on say…..Thursday….she always has Quesadilla Night.

It’s working like a charm. It helps with the grocery list each week. I don’t wring my hands brainstorming what to make for dinner. And I know she is getting a variety of meals through the week.

What can I say? I guess I just think like a Countess.

But don’t worry about curtsying next time you see me. I am a thoroughly modern monarch.

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Please Pass the Tip Jar

By Magnolia
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been to Robert’s Western World. Shame on you if you’ve never been, especially if you are a Nashvillian. It just happens to be one of my favorite spots in the world and a great place to take out of towners. Located on Lower Broad in Nashville, Robert’s is a legendary honky tonk where at any given moment you will always find great country music and loads of talent.

Jesse Lee Jones owns the joint and also heads up the House Band known as Brazilbilly. They pride themselves on playing traditional country music like Marty Robbins and George Jones, not the country/rap (C-RAP) versions that you hear today. There’s always lots of dancing, too many Pabst Blue Ribbons and plenty of people watching. Sportsfan likes to partake in the “Stimulus Package”—all beef hot dog, Lays potato chips, a moon pie and a Busch beer all for $5.



Sunday mornings at Robert’s are also a treat. It’s a combination of fantastic country gospel with a little bit of preaching about being humble like Moses and keeping both hands on the plow. On our last visit, we left with the CD in hand and Junior telling us that’s where he’s going to “church” every Sunday for the rest of his life. Now Little E knows every single word to the set and gladly takes performance requests.


The artists equally impress with their rapport with the crowd. Last night after playing a blazing rendition of “Orange Blossom Special” the lead singer urged the crowd to put some money in the tip jar. Seems he has four children that need to buy cigarettes.

You better believe that tip jar was full.

Now do yourself a favor and go visit our friends at Robert’s. You won’t be sorry.

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Inspire Me, Inspire Me Not

By Magnolia

Just like Chick, it has been ages since I last posted. And I’m sorry about that because I truly enjoyed CFT and all of our readers. But, I just lost the inspiration somewhere in the shuffle of life. How does that happen? Where did the bee in my bonnet go? Well, the inspiration is back so get ready.

Now before you go calling me a procrastinator, let me explain the difference. I get the things done that need to be done on a timely basis (although Sportsfan might disagree), but sometimes I just have these gusts of ideas and they blow away almost as quickly as they came. I'm sure you can relate.


Take this weekend. I have known for months that I would be HOME ALONE!!! That means no Sportsfan, no Junior and no Little E. This would be a first. So I made a to do list. It looked a little like this:

1. Paint the bathroom.
2. Organize and clean out the game cabinet in the den.
3. Clean out the kids closets.
4. Actually print and place photos in an album that have been piling up since 2002.

Weeks go by with this massive to do list in my head and I start to lose steam. Was I overly ambitious? Perhaps. Am I a procrastinator? Maybe, but technically there is no deadline to accomplish these tasks.

Now before I go and scare all of the people that elected me to be the PTO President next year, let me defend myself. I can pretend to be Type A at any given moment. I just choose to spend most of my time as a Type B. It’s much more fun.

So here’s my updated to do list for this weekend:

1. Go on a hike with Dolly (our puppy).
2. Take a tennis lesson.
3. Play tennis with dear friends who I haven’t seen in too long.
4. Get a pedicure.
5. Have a girl’s night.
6. Maybe clean out one closet.

I’ll let you all know how the weekend turns out. I couldn’t be more excited. And for all those wondering…Yes, Sportsfan is attending the Georgia opener in Stillwater, Oklahoma. We don't call him Sportsfan for nothin'.
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Flour Power

By Chick~ This week is Little Chick's 10th birthday so we are consumed with buttercream dreams and the power of fondant and flour.

You see, we love cakes, we love cupcakes, we love decorating cakes, and we love love love to watch TV shows about cake decorating. So it was a special mother-daughter trip to Sugar Mama's Bakeshop this afternoon where Little Chick had her official consultation about her 10th birthday cake. Oh yes, we take this sort of thing very seriously.

Dutifully we tune into cake decorating shows like Amazing Wedding Cakes and The Cake Boss, so we are not your uninformed, off-the-street customer. Oh no, Little Chick had researched cake images online and arrived with a printed Creative Strategy in-hand.



Sugar Mama's Bakeshop is in our neighborhood and we have been loyal fans since they opened about a year ago. Their cupcakes are dense and moist and bursting with flavor and personality. Not to mention the bakery is hipster cozy and retro.



Once we had everything ordered, we indulged in a cupcake treat for our efforts. We taste-tested the Hemingway, which has a touch of key lime and graham cracker topping. Plus we tried the vegan Cookies & Cream which was divine. I don't even really know what vegan is, but I know it's something I usually avoid. That said, I feel so much healthier knowing I ate (and loved!) a vegan cupcake.

Oh my gosh, I'm a vegan. Cool.



Thank you Sugar Mama's! Can't wait to see what yall design. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY Little Chick. Here's to another decade of sweet celebrations. Is it just coincidence or does decade sound an awful lot like decadent?

Either way, sounds sweet.

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Missed Me Missed Me, Now You Gotta Kiss Me

By Chick

It has been ages since I have posted anything here on Chicken Fried Therapy. And yet, despite my long, lingering absences…I just can’t seem to stay away. Perhaps you will be drawn back into the fold as well? Even if you simply cruise by like a rubber-necker checking on an ambulance while secretly looking for some carnage on the side of the road, I hope you’ll stick around and see what happens in here.

A quick refresh on the history of this blog…

I launched CFT in November 2007. I fell in love with blogging – and my readers – right out of the gate. But it wasn’t long before I was lured away to start another blog…about fishing. And it’s been an incredible ride! I have a whole different audience over on FLY FISH CHICK. Mainly men, who fish. Let’s face it, I’m not the first chick who's ditched the girls to go hang out with the boys. What are you gonna do? Besides, the good sister-friends always come back around.

And I did come back! Last November in fact. I was stretched so thin with FLY FISH CHICK and being Mommy to Little Chick. But I had the lightbulb idea to make CFT a team blog, introducing some dishy girlfriends called The Drumsticks to be my co-writers.

They stormed out of the gate on CFT more like spicy hot wings than comfort-fare drumsticks! But their blog boss (yours truly) couldn’t seen to manage her time and contribute over here. Collectively, we lost steam.

Time to shut CFT down? One might argue that obvious point given we’re a group of moms who have to put “GO TO THE RESTROOM” on a to do list or it won’t get done.

And yet…

I can’t seem to let it go. Just can’t do it. I am nostalgic since this was my first site. Not to mention, the boys -- as much as I love them -- kinda smell like fish over on my other blog. I am craving some pretty-pretty, some artsy-tartsie, and some girlie-girl chitter chat to compliment the daily testosterone fish talk. Pinks and blues. A girl blog and a boy blog. Who says we can’t have it all?

So here we are, Round III with CFT. I am going to post as best I can. Magnolia will continue as a regular Drumstick writer. The other girls will write stories periodically. We’re moms. We’re workers. We’re Circus Jugglers. We’ll see how this goes.

Besides, I have lots to share. I have a sweetheart in Alabama which has exposed me to all sorts of new food and art and hotspots on the Gulf Coast; Little Chick is on the brink of reaching double digits; I am training for an endurance race; I picked up tennis...aaaand I have temporarily set it back down; and in a most exciting burst of inspiration/insanity, I have just ordered a Bellydancing DVD.

Oh that’s right, you heard me. Bellydancing. Good stuff is coming on CFT. I know you’re mad I’ve been away so long, but you’re just going to have to get over it Darlin’. Admit it. You know you’ve missed me. So let’s just kiss and makeup and start dishing.
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What happens in Mexico - Part 1

by Magnolia

Sportsfan and I just returned from a fabulous long weekend in Cabo San Lucas. This was only our second visit to Mexico, but I think it’s safe for me to say that the Mexicans just do things differently than we do. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t like it…it’s just different. The element of danger and recklessness often appeals to me.

Two years ago when we were in Mexico, Sportsfan and I went to get massages. Sportsfan had never gotten one before so he was asking me all kinds of questions about it. “How long”, “what do I tip her”, “are you sure it’s going to be a she” and most importantly, “do I leave my underwear on?” I answered his questions and explained to him that I usually take my underwear off, but since he was a first-timer, he might be more comfortable with them on.

So we’re off to the spa a little early, expecting to fill out some paperwork. Not the case in Mexico. All they need to know is your room number. They are not concerned with any heart condition, skin allergy or asthma you might have. Nevertheless, the massage was fabulous and I couldn’t wait to hear about Sportsfan’s experience. When he emerged all sleepy eyed from the room, I could tell that he thoroughly enjoyed it. I asked what he decided to do about his underwear. It turns out that he did in fact leave his underwear on, but his masseuse was not going to have any of that. She yanked his boxers right off of him! Lord only knows what he thought was coming next!

Stay tuned for more Mexican adventures. Sportsfan and I went deep sea fishing on our last trip and let’s just say we are happy to have caught some beautiful fish, but we are very lucky to be alive and well in Tennessee.
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