Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Introducing Shifty

Greetings CFT fans! I’m new to the blogosphere but for years Chick has told me that my ADD riddled mind is perfect for such a format. So here goes~ I’m jumping in head first!

I am a single mother happily dating the love of my life. I have fashioned myself as a career-volunteer, focusing on women’s issues, mental illness, addiction and science education. So while I have no formal title in life sometimes, when asked, I say I have a Think Tank (I mean- I do think about a lot of things…so what if I’m the only person in the tank? Maybe this opportunity will add a few new members. I’m certain we can solve some world issues, like ending panty lines, once and for all.)

My other favorite moniker I have been trying on for size is “Life Coach”. Recently my physical therapist strongly recommended I hire this guy who is a personal trainer AND a life coach….all I could think was “nice way to tell me that you think I am out of shape and crazy at the same time!" Understand I am all for going to “talking doctors”, psychiatrists and therapists~ Lord knows where I’d be without them! What tickles me is this new “life coach” subset that has recently come into my consciousness. While one can train to be a certified life coach it is not mandatory yet. Thus I have declared myself a life coach. Hey- I’ve seen some things and I’m not afraid to tell someone my opinion. I’m envisioning myself hanging out at my favorite coffeeshop, having clients drop in for some tough love. What do you think? I’ll wear awhistle around my neck and treat my clients to a nice swat on the you-know-what as they leave. “Go get ‘em!”

I used to think it was fun to say that I worked for NASA~ a space pioneer, if you will, but that jealous broad who drove across the country in adult diapers dismantled the air of intrigue and allure I thought space travel embodied.

This brings me to how I got the name Shifty. I went on an epic all-girls fly fishing trip in Montana- truly one of the best times of my life. We caused quite a stir on the river, a story I will save for later, and spent the evening at the riverside watering hole sharing lots of toasts with locals and other visiting fishermen. As the evening wore on the questions became increasingly more personal and, well, I kind of slipped into my shtick where I try on various titles just for the fun of it. (I once convinced someone that I invented the corn nut.) Well, that’s when one of our new friends started calling me Shifty…since they couldn’t get a straight answer out of me.

In real life I am so NOT shifty… I am a rule-following-Pollyanna but as you can see, I liked being dubbed shifty. We all need a flip-side, right?
I look forward to sharing more with you!

XO-
Shifty
Mother • Astronaut • Life Coach • Think Tank • Corn Nut Inventor • Friend

8 comments:

Chick said...

The image of Shifty sitting at a Starbucks, chomping on corn nuts and blowing her whistle at fake Life Coach clients....well it's just about more than I can handle!

Seriously though, I've known Shifty for 19 years (good lord that's longer than the age of an entire voting person!) and she is as good as it gets. I feel very lucky that Shifty is on board at CFT. Let the fun begin...

Shifty said...

The feeling is mutual, love. Thank you.

So maybe I should have been Corn Nut instead of Shifty. Shoot, I'll just get myself a CB radio and use Corn Nut as my handle.

Should I invoice my Life Coach clients or get the cash upfront? $200 for 20 minutes- I want them to think I'm THAT good. "Float like a butterfly~ sting like a bee"....

Legally Blonde said...

I am thrilled to have a life coach - I am going to pay you in Corn Nuts!

Chick said...

this said from the lawyer who bills by the hour

Shifty said...

Corn Nuts are better than Circus Peanuts....

Chick said...

whoa nelly. hold on there shifty. those are fighting words. everyone knows how much i love the circus peanuts

court said...

as i was on said trip - i can attest to the non-shiftiness of shifty - but have to say that corn nuts may be the foulest most malodorous snack out there! however - as i have recently revived my love for pretzel combos...well who am i to talk?

as a long time reader - may i say i love the addition of the new drumsticks!! too fun and so fabulous to read!!!

Shifty said...

Dear Combo~ You're going to regret saying"malodorous" when I become the next Corn Nut spoke model! I'll be living the dream, following Nascar and I might not invite you to to visit the Corn Nut Camper in the infield. (Give me a little laser-lipo, extensions, a spray-on tan and surely I could morph into every truckers sweetheart. It could happen.)

...and not a WORD about Circus Peanuts. Seriously? Give corn nuts another chance.