Chicken Fried Therapy: As Usual, My Resolutions Read More Like True Confessions

[by Chick] Like so many people starting a new year, I have a new batch of news years resolutions! Okay, who are we kidding? Many of them aren’t “new”, just repackaged and recycled with a regurgitated sense of hope that I just might achieve them. But really, this is my year, I swear.

Here are just twelve of my goals for two thousand twelve. Some we’ve seen before, some are new…

1. Dive deep into the colored jean trend by buying at least one new color each month. I don’t want to miss this. I’ve already got a head start with some pale pink ones I bought on sale last August, plus three pair this month alone: crimson for the national championship game (Roll Tide), navy because they fit super cute, and Carolina blue for basketball season (Go Heels).

2. Lose so much weight that family and friends start to worry about me. (I know, I know, we’ve seen this one before. Sigh.)

3. Run my first 5K. Actually I am sort of globbing on to Little Chick’s goal here. She set out to run her first 5K and so the Professor and I are training with her to run in the Joe Cain 5K in Mobile AL during Mardi Gras. Which will also be my first 5K and conveniently will work toward Goal #2. Stay tuned, maybe we can get a live webcam to follow us. I realize it probably won’t have the hype of the Boston Marathon but I am really hoping to get one of those mylar blankets at the end – you know, to up my ‘athletica’ cool factor.

4. Improve my hoop dancing skills. Yes, you read that correctly. And yes, this is a recycled, and thus far unmet, goal from both 2008 and 2010. I did buy two new hoops last year which was a modicum of progress. And actually attended one hooping “meetup” that I learned about from meetup.com. (Am I the only person you know who has attended an event on meetup.com?) But truly, this is it people. I have been scouring youtube videos on hooping. I have designed a new hooping playlist on itunes. I am going to wow you with my hooping skills this year.

Fee free to do an intervention when I go so far as to buy a pair of these furry hoop dancing boots (very popular with the hooping crowd apparently):

5. Become more high maintenance. I am so low maintenance with my appearance (read: lazy) and so I think I need more beauty processes in my daily life. I am the farthest thing from wakeup and makeup. Maybe that needs to change just a bit? Not sure what I am working into the repertoire, I am open to suggestions. Actually I’m not open to suggestions, scratch that. But clearly this goal requires more research on my part.

6. Sell so many copies of my book PADDLEFISH that I become a localebrity and am invited to dance in the Austin TX ‘Dancing With The Stars’ charity event.

7. Cook more. The Professor and I are about to do a kitchen remodel, my mother just bought me all new cookware for Christmas, so the pressure is on. More cooking from this chick. Plus it dovetails nicely with Goal #2. I just know that a TV in the new kitchen (hardwired to the Bravo channel) would lure me into the kitchen for hours on end to create culinary masterpieces but I don’t think that request made the cut in the remodel. Bummer. Anyhooo, still…cook more.

8. Eat more vegetables. (As you can see, pretty much all roads lead to Rome and Goal #2.) For the record, I am no longer counting a corndog as a vegetable.

9. Finally, once and for all, learn how to create and successfully load one of those damn little favicons.

10. Get more of my friends to follow me on Instagram. And I will load so many dazzling photos that Instagram features me on their “Popular” page and my twelve year old daughter will actually be impressed. (For those of you who don’t know, the Tweens have flocked to Instagram for their social media since they are just a hair too young for Facebook.) Here’s a recent Instagram post I did from the Music City Bowl: