New Evidence Supports Theory I Am In Fact Royalty

By Chick~
I probably shouldn’t even be sharing this with the world. I mean heaven forbid the Queen of England should mysteriously meet her demise, I could actually be on the short list of suspects with motive. No one believes me (or takes the time to feign interest) but I am actually a member of the royal family. You see many years ago my grandmother did some genealogy work and discovered that we are distant descendents of King Edward III. Or maybe it was Richard III, I can’t remember. Either way should Queenie move out of the way (and a few other people turn down the job) I could basically take over the throne of England.

Despite my best efforts to live a super normal life among everyday people, my royal blood rises to the surface every so often. I guess it’s a nature-nurture thing among us royals. Recently I had a lightbulb moment where my nobility merged with practicality and parenting genius ensued. Let me explain…

As luck would have it, Little Chick is a very particular eater. Instead of Princess and the Pea, we are more like Princess and the Peanut Butter. She despises vegetables. Loves burgers and pizza. It’s like she’s always in training for a marathon, carbo-loading 24/7.

On top of that, she shuttles between my house and her dad’s house in a somewhat creative, but efficient-for-us schedule. I barely know what I’m serving for dinner much less what what he’s feeding her. Toward the end of the last school year she finally threw in the gauntlet and begged for anything but pizza. Apparently she’d had it four nights in a row.

Sheesh.

So I carved out some time to focus on continuing education and self-improvemnt aimed at making me a better single mom. And by that I mean I found time to watch some re-runs on BRAVO of The Real Housewives of New York City.

Have you seen any of the Real Housewives shows? These women will instantly make you feel like a better person. Definitely a better mother.

At any rate, this episode featured the Countess Luann de Lesseps. Luann is a former model who married a Swiss count, had his children, and now is on this ridiculous reality show where she spends her time pointing out to people how they can be as classy as she is.

So…….anyway. In this particular episode she was hitting the town on a Wednesday night for a red carpet event despite the fact her son was feeling very needy and begged her to stay home. To which the Countess replied, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. It’s taco night!”

Taco night? The Countess has taco night?

And then it hit me. If taco night and scheduled meals works for the Countess and her kids, certainly they can work for us.

Royal minds do think alike after all.

So inspired by the Countless, I have instituted a weekly meal plan for Little Chick and printed it up at both of her houses, mom’s and dad’s. That way, no matter which parent has her on say…..Thursday….she always has Quesadilla Night.

It’s working like a charm. It helps with the grocery list each week. I don’t wring my hands brainstorming what to make for dinner. And I know she is getting a variety of meals through the week.

What can I say? I guess I just think like a Countess.

But don’t worry about curtsying next time you see me. I am a thoroughly modern monarch.