Chicken Fried Therapy: Dawn of a New Whey

By Chick~ Put this on the list of things I never thought I would hear myself say: "I started my day with a hearty helping of Goat Kefir."

That's right. Today is Day #1 of my Cleanse. Not some wacky pepper cleanse, but a super healthy program custom-designed by an actual nutritionist. A woman who has introduced me to the likes of goat kefir, flax seed crackers,chicken apple sausage and other organic delicacies. For the next few weeks I will eliminate packaged and processed food, sugar, sodas, wheat/gluten, and about a million other things I like to call my best friends.

But before we delve into the cleanse, I'm sure you are wondering how I spent my final hours of food freedom. Trust me. It was a thing of beauty.

We started with a late brunch at the ever decadent Fonda San Miguel where we enjoyed tamales and ceviche and some chicken, beef, pork and lamb over rice. My favorite was the sweet Mexican corn pudding with sauteed peppers and sour cream.

From there we hooked around the corner to Ginny's Little Longhorn where Dale Watson plays every Sunday during Chicken Shit Bingo.

It's an Austin classic.

You buy a ticket with a handwritten number on it. They put a chicken in a cage that has bingo numbers all over the bottom. If the chicken poops on your number, you win the pot of cash.

Now there was some tragedy this week at Ginny's because their chicken was killed by a raccoon. So they bought a new chicken. Lo & behold, that chicken was found dead in the morning. They didn't have time to buy another on a Sunday so this chicken was a loaner named Tofu.

You know it's a sign that change is imminent when the chicken at Chicken Shit Bingo, who is performing a matter of inches from the crockpot chili hotdog buffet, is named Tofu.

Despite being a novice, Tofu worked fast, eliminating on #33.

Drat! I had #32.

Speaking of elimination and lean meat-like substances....back to the cleanse.

Well, no...actually I don't have the time or energy to type much more as I am feeling light-headed and about to start eating the paper right out of my inkjet printer. So for now you can enjoy this montage tribute to a by-gone era....